THE SLIPPERY SLOPE

This blog is officially over a year old now. I would like to celebrate my big First Anniversary by offering my followers a 10% discount on something. But I’m not sure what.

I figured out I’d been at this a year when I was describing the free things we pick up at the State Fair and it all started sounding vaguely familiar. Sure enough, I wrote about this annual family event back in September of ‘09. So now I’m a little worried that every future post will read like a bad sequel...with the same predictable characters, jaded locales, tired plots. And it may be a slippery slope from there to posts that read like cheap dime-store novels and People magazine articles. I apologize up front if that happens.

So yes, a couple of weekends ago, 18 of those same old family members put in another appearance at the fair. Actually, we did have one new face because Emily met us there with a new friend from college named Jordan. (I believe the better sequels introduce new and interesting characters to the mix, so we’ll try that approach here.) And Jordan was soon as enthralled as the rest of us with all the cool fair stuff…like the life-size butter sculpture, the seriously oversized watermelons, and the rows and rows of chickens in cages. And who wouldn’t be impressed with how adept my sisters are at finding the free stuff? The rest of us just follow them around like puppy dogs, saying, “Hey, where did you get that toothpick holder?” I’m pretty sure Jordan had a good time with that, because she went along quite willingly with Emily to feign interest in a certain community college so they could score some free chapstick.

One new fair event surfaced this year. After enjoying a tasty lunch of homemade Bierocks, apple dumplings, and hot beef sandwiches, we eagerly made our way over to see the “Wild About Monkeys” show. That’s when we discovered this was a hot ticket because all of the bleachers were filled. Not to worry. There was plenty of seating on the grass in front of the stage, and even though a lot of us are too old to be sitting cross-legged on the ground, we weren’t about to pass up a free monkey show. So we sat down to wait.

And that’s when I discovered how extremely hot it was, especially sitting in the full sun, and that’s when the entire grassy area filled up with masses of humanity so that a person couldn’t escape even if he or she wanted to. And that’s when my 3-year-old nephew started slinging a Styrofoam cup around and into a few strangers’ faces. And I think that was the moment when I began to feel HOT AND TRAPPED. But I didn’t complain too much, because naturally I was trying not to embarrass Emily in front of her new friend.

Finally, the show began. And as monkey shows go, it was fairly entertaining…with your usual monkey shenanigans and tricks. But the best part was actually when a bird flew out into the audience and got a dollar bill from a lady and then returned it. I’m guessing the bird’s agent was asleep on the job, or the show would have been billed “Wild about Monkeys AND a Bird”.

If you’ve read my “illustrated” blog on the OC website, you may be wondering why I don’t post pictures on this blog as well. But do you look for illustrations when you read Jane Austen? Or Fyodor Dostoyevsky? I think not. Obviously, this is my “thinking” man’s blog, and that other one is my commercial sell out. Not that they’re paying me, but you know what I mean.

So I was going to do a quick family update…but it’s too late for that. So I’ll think about that tomorrow. The wedding series is still progressing in outline form, but is not quite ready for publication. I haven’t had lunch yet today, but hope to enjoy a nice Gala apple, and some tuna and Wheat Thins when the time comes. Good night!