THE TRICKSTERS OF OHIO

I love a good bribe, and by that I mean one that produces the desired results. This was accomplished yesterday at David’s track meet, and here’s how it all went down. First we watched him in the triple jump, and this was only his second time to try this event so I didn’t know what to expect. We missed his first performance, but he reported scratching on his first two jumps, and on the third, hitting the board and his feet going out from under him. I asked him if he was embarrassed by this, but no...he just thought it was funny.

Anyway, yesterday, like I said, I didn’t know what to expect. But he jumped fine, as far as I could tell, and way farther (or further) than I could jump, so that’s good. But I couldn’t tell that he brought any intensity or focus to the effort. So afterwards I asked him if he’d ever really gone all out at any track event, and he said yes. So I said, "It doesn’t show in your face," and he said, "I just have a relaxed-looking face." So then I asked him if he would run hard in his races later in the track meet, and he said probably not because he didn’t want to throw up. And I'm pretty sure this proved my point.

And so I said if he would go all out and give his very best effort to just one race, I would buy him an I-tunes card. And there still was some hesitation but finally he caved. And lo and behold, he surprised us all by WINNING the 800, by a good margin too. Throughout the race, I kept repeating to Dave, "He’s gonna die, he’s gonna die," and this annoyed him for some reason, but I didn’t care.

Well, I had to call the girls then and tell them the astounding news, because I couldn’t remember any of my kids ever WINNING a race before, except maybe one of those relay things where you have to share the glory with three other people. But Rachel told me she remembered winning a race in middle school, so either my memory is failing or she’s delusional. The only race I remember of hers was one where she ran up to a hurdle, stopped, backed up, and then ran at it again. But I can’t be sure of anything these days, so maybe even that didn’t happen.

And one final note on the track meet. Again the weather was all over the place, and at one point the wind began to blow fiercely, and the skies grew overcast, and the temps dropped about 30 degrees. So naturally I made Dave pull up to the finish line so I could watch the races from inside the car. And we sat there for hours (literally) watching other kids run across the finish line, and when David was running we would get out and cheer him on, and then we would get back in the car, where it was all toasty warm. So all in all it was a good time, made even better when I discovered the following items in my purse: three fortune cookies, a half-eaten but still fresh blueberry muffin, and a clementine. I thought about sharing my stash with Dave but decided against it, because it wasn't as if we were stranded in an elevator or on a desert island or anything. I mean, there was even a concession stand several hundred feet from where we were parked, so I let him fend for himself.

In other news, Dave is getting ready to take a few days off to visit his family. He is a bit concerned about the trip, because his sister called and told him her five kids were planning to play all kinds of "tricks" on him when he got there. He asked us, "What if I don’t think their tricks are funny, and then I have to ACT like they are." This is a real concern because he is admittedly a TERRIBLE actor. But Emily and Rachel assured him that he WOULD think the tricks were funny, and told him to just relax. Emily said she would love to trade places with him and get tricked by those kids, and she told him that he should play some tricks on them too. I’m not sure, but I think Dave was reassured by this little pep talk. It was role-reversal at its best. The children reassuring the adult that he could handle a new situation.

Speaking of those girls, I have to tell you that Emily and Rachel set up their annual private café for Dave and me the other night and made and served us dinner. They usually do this sometime around our birthdays and they were only a month late this time, so that was nice. My apples have not fallen far from the tree. They made delicious fajitas and yummy strawberry slushes. Our dinner entertainment was getting to watch Channel 62 without them complaining and since "Singin’ in the Rain" was on, it was perfect, at least for me. Dave probably would have preferred an edgier film, something with Gregory Peck or Gary Coleman. But he didn't complain.

We had a going away luncheon for a co-worker today and it was Mexican-themed. My contribution was taco salad, Anita style, and I must admit it was almost as good as hers.