CONEHEADS

Anytime we’re in the car headed anywhere, Dave suggests we stop by McDonald’s for ice cream cones…mainly because he heard or read somewhere that they are low fat. We humor him because he doesn’t ask a lot of us…and because sometimes we want a cone too. We made a stop there earlier this week and were greeted by our current favorite McDonald’s employee, James*. James is a classmate of my kids so we harass him on a regular basis and he harasses us right back, so it’s all good. But this is why I stress to my kids that when you live in a town as small as ours, you MUST be kind to everyone you meet, because you never know who might be flipping your burger at some point and making that crucial decision of whether or not to spit on it.

So we tell James we want two vanilla and three twist cones, and that’s when he shocks us all but telling us they are OUT of cones. He offers us ice cream in cups, but we are not amused. Instead, we heckle him for a bit (WHAT? NO CONES?? ARE YOU MAD???). And when we’re through with that, we drive across the street to Sonic, where we order those ridiculously tiny junior candy sundaes.

But Dave is dejected and orders nothing…because Sonic has no low-fat ice cream choices. But then he has a bright idea. He buys an empty cone from Sonic (50 cents) and then heads back over to McDonald’s…where he tells James he has obtained a cone and would like to buy ice cream to fill it. James is easily amused so he takes our money at the First Window and tells us to give the cone to the Second Window lady. She is amused also, but would only give Dave his ice cream in a cup. So he had to spoon it into his cone himself.

I haven't had lunch yet today, but last night I went to a cookout and had a hotdog, exceptionally good potato salad and salsa, two pieces of cake, and a s'more. My personal trainer saw my plate and didn't say a word. So I may have to fire her.

*Name changed to protect the innocent.