LIVE LIKE PIGS, MOVE LIKE PIGS

I generally keep my Bible on the corner of my bed, because our king sized bed can accommodate such a thing and I find the handier that Bible is, the more likely I am to read it. Again, it’s all about being lazy, and I freely admit it. But anyway, last night I discovered that my Bible had slipped through that space between our mattress and our headboard. So I had to get my bulky self down on the ground and try to work my way under the bed as far as I could go, but I couldn’t reach the thing. So I went to Dave’s side of the bed and tried, but the Bible was just a tad out of my reach.

The good news is I was able to reach A LOT of other stuff that had migrated under the bed, including several other books, a pillowcase, some missing socks, a bottle of lotion, and an unbelievable quantity of dust. It reminded me of that time we were moving and my brother-in-law Phil was helping us pack. And at some point in the chaos he coined the now oft-repeated phrase "live like pigs, move like pigs." Since Phil is normally an exceptionally kind man with nothing bad to say about anyone, you can just imagine what provoked this brutally honest verbal assessment of our living conditions.

But anyway, back to my Bible problem. Dave came in the room at some point and offered his assistance. What I really needed was that cane of my mom’s called the "Golden Retriever" that had a grabby thing on the end, but I think my sister Sally got that in the inheritance. So I asked for a broom instead, but Dave could only come up with a hanger, and that did the trick. My Bible was retrieved, I read a bit in Colossians, and then went to sleep...effectively putting off worrying about the stuff under my bed until my Bible drops down there again.

So I promised a report on the kids this time:

Emily still doesn’t have a date to the prom, but she says she’s okay with going by herself. I asked her how she will feel when I post the pictures on Facebook and she is standing there in her fancy dress and shoes with her hair all done up, and beside her is...NO ONE. And she says she won’t mind. So my real question is, when a girl goes dateless, do the parents have to buy her a corsage? I mean I love her independence, but I’m looking off into the future now and getting a bit worried that no guy will EVER take her off our hands, and we will be paying for her cell phone and car insurance for who knows how long.

In other Emily news, she continues to be quite diligent in working on her scholarship applications. I help her sometimes, and I’m wondering if it’s a bad sign that we are always trying to figure out how to make her "look good" on paper. I mean, she’s surely a worthy candidate based on her various activities and her good grades. But it still seems to come down to a matter of marketing. So when the Kansas Grain and Feed organization asked her if she had any connection to the grain industry, we tried to think of some tie-in, but the only think I could think of was that she sometime eats whole-grain breads. So we had to say she had no connection. And I’m sure that’s not good.

Rachel played her violin for the American Legion last night and this was the first time she’d performed alone. She was pretty nervous even though I assured her that most of the people in this audience would be older and probably have some hearing loss...like her father. Which turned out to be true, and the bottom line is she did well and I think she enjoyed it. But the real bonus of the evening was that we all got to put our names in for door prizes, and so we went home with a can of honey roasted peanuts, a bag of peanut butter candies, and a Hot Wheels car.

Rachel is also busy preparing for her upcoming cheerleader tryouts and dance recital. She likes to move our furniture around and practice her routines, and then she forces us to watch her. One time I made the mistake of thinking she might like some "tips" on how to make her routines better. But I soon discovered it was best just to smile and nod while watching. Occasionally, it is okay to say "that looks good", but it’s NEVER okay to say "maybe you should change that jump to a kick." That kind of talk will get you in serious trouble.

David is still in recovery mode from his surgery. Like any smart kid, he’s figured out how to use this to his advantage, always getting out of chores but never missing out on anything fun. Makes a mother proud. So yesterday he asked me if we’re going to be in town this weekend, and I told him we might run down to Dallas for a few days since it’s spring break. And he got mad because Luis Sanchez had invited him to go to the movies on Friday night. And I know he just always prefers to stay home, but I still tried to send him on a guilt trip by saying, "Seriously? You’d rather stay here and hang out with Luis than go to Dallas with your family?" And he said yes. And I had to admire his honesty and his nerve. But then I sweetened the trip-to-Dallas-pot with the mention of a day at Six Flags, and was happy to see the scales tipping more towards family-time.

So I also promised a juicy story on Dave, but I can’t really think of any. Unless you count the day he told me about comparing butterfly times with somebody at the pool, and how I could tell by the little smile on his face that his times were better. Or the fact that he returned his parka to American Eagle because it had a broken zipper and the good news is he got a full refund, but the bad news is it wasn’t much money because he’d got the coat on the clearance rack. But the really good news is that the rest of us were glad to see that coat go, because it looked like something you’d wear on a trip to Antarctica, but he would wear it around here even when the temps were mild, and so it was starting to get embarrassing.

As for me, my health continues to decline. The hives have returned and seem to be getting worse. While in Oklahoma City this weekend, I was able to show my nephew Ben (who’s a second-year med student) a particularly large hive on my calf. This was after church on Sunday and I think he is finally appreciating the fact that I am something of a medical anomaly. Anyway, he seemed very concerned about my condition, but I could tell he was basically still ignorant when it comes to diagnosing people with hives. So now I’m wondering if med school is all it’s cracked up to be. But I’m not giving up on him. So basically my plan now is to hope he gets into some hive-diagnosing type classes soon.

Meanwhile, the trip to OKC was not a total loss. I got to see some of my favorite people dancing and singing in strange costumes. And I got to spend time with my nieces (and soon to be niece-in-law) recently home from Zambia, along with a host of other family. And I learned some interesting ways to act out "Sandra Bullock" and "David Letterman" in the game Celebrity. Furthermore, on Sunday, I got to eat at TED’S, LUSHBERRIES and SHLOTZKY’S. The whole day was thus....a dream sequence!!!

Finally, I cannot close without mentioning the newest addition to our family...my great nephew Deacon Price, who is ours by adoption. I hope to meet him soon along with my other nephew’s new baby...due any day. We are so blessed!

And I opened another can of that outdated chicken noodle soup for lunch today, but then one of our secretaries offered me some of her homemade hamburger stew and of course I couldn’t say no to that. And it was a good decision, because it was a GREAT stew! But it made me miss my mom a little bit.