THE RENAISSANCE

Sometime back in the summer of ‘98 (or thereabouts), Dave and I cancelled our cable television. This was not a ploy to force our children to get creative, play with each other, or explore the great outdoors. Instead, it was the decision of the ultimate in lazy moms. I simply did not want to monitor what the kids were watching. Thus began what I refer to as the DARK AGES of the Kurt family. Because the next 11 years were characterized by intellectual stagnation and widespread ignorance within our family. This is what happens when people are deprived of shows like Project Runway, American Idol and The Bachelor.

But after every Dark Age, there comes a RENAISSANCE or new birth, of course. And just as a glorious butterfly emerges from its dark cocoon, so we as a family have now emerged from our cave of ignorance. How could this have happened, you might well ask? Well, it all began on Black Friday of 2009. That’s when Dave popped out of bed at 4:30 a.m., and made his way to Target where he stood in line with a bunch of other crazed lunatics, just so he could buy a giant flat screen TV for an amazingly low, low price. And then we couldn’t very well have this giant TV with no cable, and besides my family was coming for Christmas and some of them feel very unsettled without ESPN on hand. And so the cable was ordered and installed...and the Kurt family had its NEW BIRTH. Yes, we can now converse with complete ease (and with complete strangers) about why that bachelor guy would pick Vienna over Tinley, or whether House will ever get with that hospital administrator. More importantly, we know all the ins and outs of curling and ice dancing, and could recognize Shaun White if we ran into him on the ski slopes. This knowledge is so liberating and make me feel at one with the world.

The only real down-side to our family’s renaissance is that I don’t have much to blog about now, since pretty much all we do is watch television. Bottom line is once we uncorked the dam, the flood was inevitable...and I am just as bad as my kids. I have completely lost control, and we all know it but we don’t talk about it openly. It’s not that I don’t have a lucid moment, now and again, and at times threaten to cancel the cable. But I see the mockery in their eyes. They know I am too weak to pull the plug.

So that’s about all I have for you today. Next time I promise some juicy stories about my dear children. Even if I have to make some up. In any event, I’m sure I’ll have something to report about Dave because he is the only one of us that hasn’t been swept into the television vortex at our house. He’s so strong, and it makes me a little bit sick. But that’s a whole different story.

And I had a bowl of Cheerios for lunch. I would have enjoyed it more if I’d had a nice banana to go with it. But someone has eaten all our bananas.