ANATOMY OF A WEDDING - Part 2 of maybe 7

THE REHEARSAL DINNER

SALLY IN CHARGE: Since my sister Sally was planning the rehearsal dinner, I pretty much knew what to expect. Bottom line is everything would be PERFECT...not only because Sally has an endearing little perfectionist streak, but also because she works hard to get things right. And because it’s what we do, the rest of us like to mock her for her mildly neurotic lifestyle, but at the same time we all try to emulate her. I, for one, feel like Ruth to her Naomi, and could easily say to her, "Whither thou goest to shop or vacation, I will go. At whatever restaurant thou eatest, I will eat. Thy apple pie shall be my apple pie, and thy stain remover shall be my stain remover." Seriously, if she uses it or makes it or likes it, I want to too.

SALLY IN CHARGE AT SUSAN’S: And I’m not the only one to feel this way. Funny story that may lose something in the translation but here goes anyway. For weeks Sally had been over at my sister Susan’s helping her organize things at her house. One day shortly after they had rearranged the kitchen, Susan’s husband Phil was searching the cupboards for something, let’s say garlic salt, and he finally calls to Susan, "Honey, where does Sally keep our garlic salt?"

TABLE DECOR: Anyway, the point is Sally did in fact put together a dilly of a rehearsal dinner. It was held in Courtney’s backyard, since she already had the tables and a tent set up there for the reception. In the center of each round table was a large pot filled with a riotous array of violet, purple and white pansies...or petunias...or some other sort of flower. I’m ashamed to admit I can hardly tell a daisy from a mum, so the identity of those lovely and festive flowers must remain a mystery. I was able to identify the other items on our table however. At each of our place settings was a personalized Jones Soda bottle and a sparkly Connie’s Cookie in the shape of a wedding cake and adorned with purple flourishes and an "H".

FOILED PLANS: Speaking of those cookies, I should point out that in spite of my careful plans to avoid helping with anything, I WAS pressed into service shortly after I arrived at Courtney’s to assist in the placement of said Connie’s Cookies on the tables. Now everyone knows that at Ben’s brother’s rehearsal dinner, I was one of the head cookie placers and at some point I noticed Sally following me around and RE-placing each cookie that I had placed. So naturally I assumed my name was on a list somewhere of people NOT to ask for help with table decor. But apparently this detail was overlooked, because they asked, and I helped, and the earth kept spinning on its axis.

THE DREADED JONES SODAS: And of course I cannot and will not ignore the elephant in the room. Otherwise known as the awkward Jones’ bottle affair. Because when I wrote a few weeks ago about Ben asking me to write something for him and then rejecting it, it was actually for the labels on the Jones’ bottles. See each label had a picture of the Happy Couple (hereinafter "HC") on the front, and on the back, a short, and admittedly sweet, message welcoming everyone to the dinner and thanking them for their support. And okay, yes. It was a fine message and not nearly as cheesy as it could have been. And in the end, I guess it’s nice that the HC wrote it themselves...since it was their picture on the bottle and not mine. Even so, I still couldn’t help but make several bitter comments to both Ben and Courtney at various times throughout the weekend. At one point, I think I made Ben cry and that’s when Courtney started giving me those "looks". Okay, not really. I didn’t make bitter comments (not about the Jones’ bottles anyway) and no one cried and Courtney never gave me any looks that weren’t loving. But I’m feeling the need to spice up this namby-pamby commentary a bit. Aren’t most wedding weekends supposed to have some tense moments...a little name-calling...and maybe some angry outbursts? Instead, we had nothing but nicey-nice stuff all the time. So you’ll excuse me if I feel the need to inject some fictional drama in here and there.

CHOW TIME: So we finally got to eat. They served a delicious Mexican feast which was catered by Alfredo’s, a restaurant in the O-city area (I think). I was so busy talking to my cousins while I ate that I didn’t get back for seconds before they were packing away the leftovers. But I did find out where they stored the leftover cookies and helped myself to a few. After all, I needed to keep up my strength for the coming sharing time and games.

And I don’t have time for more today...so sharing time and games will have to be Part 3. I’m sure you will be on the edges of your seats waiting for that next installment.

I had a hard, flour taco and fries for lunch...at the restaurant I had to boycott for awhile. The service was great today, by the way.